Sunday, April 14, 2002

Well, it's time once again to start up. Let's see... there's those little chinese stores. You know the ones, the kinda of store where you could buy underwear, a Hasbro Transformer, and a hubcap, not to mention some type of chocolate covered craker with a picture of Hello Kitty on it. What's up with that? it's like a Walmart crammed into a 35 foot radius. And it smells just like a Super Marcado. And what's up with flea markets? They smell like rank B.O. And they sell anything and everything. Like this one time, I was looking at some guys bin filled with NES and Sega Master System games for some long lost titles when I turn my head to the vendor beside me. What do I see? Dildos and Butt Plugs... I was thinking Gross and Cool at the same time. This guy's selling Dildos and Butt Plugs.... That's cool. But wait, they're not in any sort of packaging... are they USED??? That's so gross. And then there's Butt Plugs.. What's up with that? Have you got the screaming shits so bad that you need a plug? If there's any reason you need to plug up your ass, you might as well see a doctor or something. But flea markets are pretty cool, where else can you buy previously viewed porn 3 for $15? But that reminds me of cotton candy.. that stuff pisses me off. What's it made of? try sugar and water spun really fast. If I wanted to eat sugar, I'd go for a box of Lucky Charms. What's up with that shit? It started with 6 marshmellows, then upgraded to 7 with the addition of the purple horseshoe. Then it went through it's gay phase with the clover in the hat, and the rainbow, and the balloon, and the star in the balloon. Now it stands at Hearts, Stars, Horseshoes, Clovers, And Blue Moons, Pots of Gold, And Rainbows, And the Red Balloons. That's 8 marshmellows in all. But they don't mention the 9th marshmellow.. THE DIAMOND!!!. Everyone forgets the diamond. And then to make it more sugary, they give the cereal pieces a frosted coating. What the hell... What's the deal with General Mills' Mascots? You got the Trix Rabbit, Lucky, and The Honey Bee. Now, the kids steal the cereal from Lucky and the last time I checked "STEALING IS WRONG", The kids also race the Honey Bee to a box of Honey Nut Cheerios, and the kids win fair and square but they have to gloat by eating the cereal in front of the bee. And then there's the Trix Rabbit who only wants to have some damn cereal.... Can't you people just give him the cereal? I mean, he spends his whole life trying to taste the cereal and he gets to do it (once) but never again.... But then again, The Rabbit should learn that once he gets his hands (or paws, whatever) on the Trix, he should eat it and not go into his magical floating sequence with the "Orangy Purples, Grapidy Lime, Strawberrily Fuschia, or whatever the fuck he says." Silly Rabbit... Which reminds me of (and I had an onion tied to my belt, which was the style at the time) people with empty heads.....7 I already cleared up my rants about people who rant about rants by ranting their own rants which makes me rant about their rant that they ranted about my rant which I ranted about in the earlier rant. Lets just read what's important...

QUOTE:
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i'll... be on my merry little way out. one thing that caught my... whole... point that... i'm sure... gonna include... that i'm stupid by... responding myself but just think about... how fugged up... a world that's already fugged up to... seems that many ppl wanna fugg... whether it be through physical... mental... spiritual... shit. try to enjoy... ranting fun...then i guess continue on. so long as... i... gonna get flamed for... an empty head ----------------------------------------------------

I completely agree, I'd like to fugg some women too, be it physical, mental or spiritual. And i'll incude that you're stupid and I will think about how you're stupid... AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA And I will continue as long as I flame you for an empty head... Now if I flame you 6 more times, do I get an empty head.... 7? AHAHAHAHAHA now let me continue before I get pissed off to much... I must contain myself. I think that's enough for today.

.....Be sure to tune in next time for my rant (real soon I promise) P.S Please exuse the lateness of my reply. All your reponses were smashing, I hung them up on me wall. The lateness was due to the Vanessa factor (Vanessa plus computer muliplyed by WCN subtracted by Vanessa's lack of compter etiquette= Angry Rob) or (V + CPU X WCN - CPUET = >.< ROB).....

Stay frosty, true believers...

Saturday, April 6, 2002

Now, where was I? Oh yes.... naked boys. How do pedophiles get their hands on pictures of naked boys? There must be a naked boy nudist camp that i'm unaware of. You know what else pisses me off? people who rant about rants. They don't like my rant so they rant about their own rant ranting about my rant. Dammit. I used the word rant five times in one sentence which is way to much... and that pisses me off. And then there's people who think I'm talking about them. damn they piss me off.. Am I talking about you? I don't think so, I'm talking about mister ass faced moron. unless you're calling your self and ass faced moron, if so, then don't open your mouth cause nothing but crap comes out. Then there's Big Wheels. They were cool back when I was a kid, but nowadays, I can't fit in them. What's up with that? And what about superballs. Like all parents would say, it's only fun until someone loses and eye. Well I got news for you dad, a superball into your eye socket at top speed won't make you lose your eye, but it'll hurt like a bitch. And what about Ghostbusters. Does anyone remember Ghostbusters? Not the one with Peter, Ray, Egon, and Winston. But the one with Jake and Eddy, and their gorilla, and talking car... and backtalking skull phone. If you don't remember that.... then you've just pissed me off. Then there's skimmers. They just skim through topics and give their input ignoring the masterpiece which is my brain. And what about Dr. Penfield. So what if he knows what part of your brain is to smell burn toast with. I love the smell of burnt toast even if it makes me go into anaphelectic shock. And then there's that token indian guy in all canadian shows. You know who he is. He currently hosts Exhibit A on CTV and TLC. Is there no talented indian actors so they have to hire the same guy for every show? And bleach why does bleach, when applied to white clothes, make them whiter. But add too much and it turns it yellow. And then why does it change every color into white when applied to it, but it turns anything black into a gay pinkish red? What's up with that? And stupid catch phrases. What's up with that? Are they so stupid because people over use them? What's up with that? It sounds stupid to me... What's up with that? And then there's white people trying to act black. Face it, you got born the wrong color. Too bad for you. Now get back to your Dungeons and Dragons. And what about asian people trying to act black. What are you thinking? We are the asian sensation. let's keep it at that. And then there's white people trying to act asian trying to act black. lets face it, acting isn't your strong suit. back off. And what about black people trying to act white? Naw that's an endangered species. There's only one in existence... Tiger Woods. Don't become the second. And what's this with flaming. I thought everyone agreed that flaming is meant only for the homosexuals... Are you trying to tell me something? And then what about homophobic people. Why are you scared of homos? don't know, that's why you're a homophobe. And what about non ass faced morons who should be ass faced morons. I have a remedy for you. It involves me opening up a can of whoop ass with a bitch slap sandwich. But that'll never happen, you already look like an ass... my work here is done.

.....Be sure to stay tuned to my thrid installment once I get my ass off the toilet seat. For tonights assignment, dress up like a gigolo/whore and go up to a stranger and ask them if "Have I hugged your wife/husband today?".....

Friday, April 5, 2002

You know what pisses me off? Chimpanzees!!! Damn poop flinging mite eating ewoks. That and ass faced monkeys... damn they piss me off. You know what else pisses me off? Damn campers. YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE!!! Get off the damn msg boards and get some fresh air, and maybe a life. And Mules.. those damn tardos. Worst case of interracial breeding you've ever saw. They're genetics are so messed up, they can't reproduce. Now i'm angry. And shallow people piss me off too. You just suck. And then there's hentai. What the hell is that junk? "I can't get me a naked woman, so I guess I'll draw one. What the hell, let's add a bunch of squid and octopi to make things interesting." Seriously, people have warped minds. And beanie babies, they're not the fad anymore but it still pisses me off whenever I see a beanie baby anywhere, especially if it's in its collector edition plastic case with the plastic label protector. WTF? That and Lunchables lunch paks. Are parents too lazy to slap two pieces of bread together with some PB&J, so they have to spend $5+ for a box that contains two pieces of bread and packets of PB&J? What a world we live in. And then there's fashion labels. Do you know how hard it is to find a plain white canvas baseball cap with no logo anywhere? Next to impossible. GODDAMMIT! And you can't forget Honda Civic rice rockets. Am I supposed to go OOH and AAH if you have a Civic? Hell No. It's just a damn car. "OOH look, the MOMO stickers make it go faster...." Ass faced Morons. And what about ass faced morons, damn they're morons. And their faces look like ass. Now that you mention it, what about Jello shooters. Just what I need, the best of both worlds, now you can eat jello like a kid and still end up smashed with your pants down by your ankles, and a burning sensation up your ass. It's just that amazing. And then you can't forget people who are full of themselves. There's a few on this board which I will keep nameless *cough* Mister ass faced moron *cough*. Just shut up already, we don't want to hear about your "pseudo life" you created on this board. We all know you're just an 80 year old male pedophile looking for some naked boys, naked boys, and more luscious naked boys.

.....Be sure to tune into my second installment once I clear my mind of all imputities. For tonights assignment, you're fired from school, go home and drink bleach and die..... or else I'll rip your eyes out of it's sockets and shove them up you ass..... which i'll also rip out..... then i'll tear you a new one.....