Sheven Daish Crew

Tuesday, June 20, 2006

This shall be the last entry as I'm leaving for Calgary in about 1 week. No more Web Page.

posted by Gio at 8:11 PM

Tuesday, April 25, 2006

Montr饌l Poutine - "軋 va faire une maudite poutine"

posted by Gio at 12:44 AM

Tuesday, April 18, 2006

Things you have to believe to be a Republican today
===================================================

Jesus loves you, and shares your hatred of homosexuals and
Hillary Clinton.

Saddam was a good guy when Reagan armed him, a bad guy when
Bush's daddy made war on him; a good guy when Cheney did
business with him; and a bad guy when Bush needed a "we can't
find Bin Laden" diversion.

Trade with Cuba is wrong because the country is Communist, but
trade with China and Vietnam is vital to a spirit of
international harmony.

The United States should get out of the United Nations, and
our highest national priority is enforcing U.N. resolutions
against Iraq.

A woman can't be trusted with decisions about her own body, but
multi-national corporations can make decisions affecting all
mankind without regulation.

The best way to improve military morale is to praise the troops
in speeches, while slashing veterans' benefits and combat pay.

If condoms are kept out of schools, adolescents won't have sex.

A good way to fight terrorism is to belittle our long-time
allies, then demand their cooperation and money.

Providing health care to all Iraqis is sound policy, but
providing health care to all Americans is socialism. HMOs and
insurance companies have the best interests of the public at
heart.

Global warming and tobacco's link to cancer are junk science,
but creationism should be taught in schools. A president lying
about an extramarital affair is an impeachable offense, but a
president lying to enlist support for a war in which thousands
die is solid defense policy.

Government should limit itself to the powers named in the
Constitution, which include banning gay marriages and censoring
the Internet.

The public has a right to know about Hillary's cattle trades, but
George Bush's driving record is none of our business.

Being a drug addict is a moral failing and a crime, unless you're
a conservative radio host. Then it's an illness and you need our
prayers for your recovery.

You support states' rights, but the Attorney General can tell
states what local voter initiatives they have the right to adopt.

What Bill Clinton did in the 1960s is of vital national interest,
but what Bush did in the '80s is irrelevant.

posted by Gio at 10:00 PM

Wednesday, March 29, 2006

Actual Insurance Claims:

Coming home I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I don't have.

The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its intentions.

I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way.

I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law and headed over the embankment.

In my attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole.

I was on my way to the doctor with rear end trouble when my universal joint gave way causing me to have an accident.

An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my car and vanished.

posted by Gio at 3:21 PM

Thursday, March 23, 2006

Two Scotsman were discussing how far each could make a dime reach. They agreed to try it and meet a few days later to see who won.

The first guy bought a cigar, and smoked one-third the first day and saved the ashes. He smoked one-third the second day and saved the ashes. He smoked one-third the third day and again saved the ashes. On the fourth day he gave the ashes to his wife to use as fertilizer on her roses. He told the other guy, "I know you can't beat that for stretching a dime."

The other Scotsman said, "I got you beat. I bought a Polish sausage for a dime, and the first day I ate one-half, and on the second day I ate the other half. The third day I used the skin for a condom, and the fourth day I took a shit in the skin and sewed it back up. The fifth day I took it back to the butcher and told him it smelled like shit. He agreed with me and gave me my dime back."

posted by Gio at 11:11 PM

Tuesday, March 21, 2006

It's raining pussy cats.

posted by Gio at 6:58 PM

Monday, March 20, 2006

If we could shrink the earth's population to a village of precisely 100 people, with all the existing human ratios remaining the same, here's what you would have:

57 Asians
21 Europeans
14 from the Western Hemisphere (both north and south)
8 Africans
52 would be female
48 would be male
70 would be non-white
30 would be white
70 would be non-Christian
30 would be Christian
89 would be heterosexual
11 would be homosexual
6 people would possess 59% of the entire world's wealth, and
all 6 would be from the United States.
80 would live in substandard housing
70 would be unable to read
50 would suffer from malnutrition
1 would be near death; 1 would be near birth
1 (yes, only 1) would have a college education
1 would own a computer.

posted by Gio at 10:30 PM

Thursday, March 16, 2006

The cat with hands

posted by Gio at 9:47 PM

Friday, March 03, 2006

Things That Are Difficult to Say When You're Drunk:

Indubitably; Innovative; Preliminary; Proliferation; Cinnamon.

Things That Are VERY Difficult to Say When You're Drunk:

Specificity; Cogito ergo sum; British; Constitution; Passive-aggressive disorder; Loquacious; Transubstantiate.

Things That Are Downright IMPOSSIBLE to Say When You're Drunk:

Thanks, but I don't want to have sex; Nope, no more booze for me; Sorry, but you're not really my type; Good evening, officer, isn't it lovely out tonight? Oh, I just couldn't--no one wants to hear me sing!

posted by Gio at 2:22 PM

Wednesday, February 22, 2006

We happened to spot Andy Dick moving into his new house. We originally met Andy randomely at a restaurant, he was so excited by our one-second film idea that he drove us to an ATM and gave us $111.11 to be an Executive Producer! We didn't have a video camera at the time, but this time we did, luckily. Wanna be a film Producer for $1 and get on IMDb? Visit www.the1secondfilm.com

posted by Gio at 7:54 AM

Saturday, February 18, 2006

Sicko "Marriage Contract" One For The Ages

posted by Gio at 9:10 PM

Thursday, February 16, 2006

Get down Jew, go ahead get down!
Chow down girl go ahead chow down!

posted by Gio at 3:22 PM

Wednesday, February 15, 2006

I know how you all like these...

These are truisms that only kids can express. A group of professional people posed this question to a group of 4 to 8 year-olds "What does love mean?"

The answers they got were broader and deeper than anyone could have imagined.

"When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn't bend over and paint her toenails anymore. So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That's love."- Rebecca - age 8

"When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You know that your name is safe in their mouth."- Billy - age 4

"Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other." - Karl - age 5

"Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French fries without making them give you any of theirs." -Chrissy - age 6

"Love is what makes you smile when you're tired." Terri - age 4

"Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK." - Danny - age 7

"Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you get tired of kissing, you still want to be together and you talk more. My mommy and Daddy are like that. They look gross when they kiss." -Emily - age 8

"Love is what's in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen."- Bobby - age 5

"If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you hate."- Nikka - age 6

"There are two kinds of love. Our love. God's love. But God makes both kinds of them."- Jenny - age 4

"Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it everyday." -Noelle - age 7

"Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other so well." -Tommy - age 6

"During my piano recital, I was on a stage and scared. I looked at all the people watching me and saw my daddy waving and smiling. He was the only one doing that. I wasn't scared anymore."- Cindy - age 8

"My mommy loves me more than anybody. You don't see anyone else kissing me to sleep at night."- Clare - Age 5

"Love is when mommy gives daddy the best piece of chicken." -Elaine - age 5

"Love is when mommy sees daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is handsomer than Robert Redford."- Chris - age 8

"Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day."- Mary Ann - age 4

"I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old clothes and has to go out and buy new ones."- Lauren - age 4

"I let my big sister pick on me because my Mom says she only picks on me because she loves me. So I pick on my baby sister because I love her." - Bethany - age 4

"When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you."- Karen - age 7

"Love is when mommy sees daddy on the toilet and she doesn't think it's gross."- Mark - age 6

"You really shouldn't say 'I love you' unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget." -Jessica - age 8

posted by Gio at 11:08 PM

Tuesday, February 14, 2006

One red Paper clip + Internet = House?

posted by Gio at 7:34 PM

Tuesday, February 07, 2006

The BEAST 50 Most Loathsome People in America 2005

posted by Gio at 12:52 PM

Monday, February 06, 2006

Nemesis Wanted: :i'm 5'10" Into kyaking, books and conversation (by day), justice, honour, vengeance (by night) Seeking arch-enemy, possibly crimelord or deformed megalomaniac

posted by Gio at 4:02 PM

Saturday, January 21, 2006

rudolph the 5 legged reindeer

I haven't been this impressed since the South Park Jesus vs Santa clip.

posted by Gio at 3:22 AM

Wednesday, January 11, 2006

Chuck Norris was going to spend a relaxing day watching television when one of those commercials for Trix cereal came on. Angered by what he saw, Chuck Norris spent the rest of his, what was supposed to be a relaxing day, punching every child he came across. He would then shout at them, Trix are for Chuck Norris.

And his response

Also check out Vin Diesel and Mr. T facts. Fantastic!

posted by Gio at 1:41 AM

Saturday, January 07, 2006

If only they can play fetch I wouldn't eat them for lunch.

posted by Gio at 7:08 PM

Thursday, January 05, 2006

Yeah we've all seen Simpson pr0n but not when it's used as a main picture at an e-store to sell the dvds.

posted by Gio at 5:19 PM

Sunday, January 01, 2006

The number of people killed by the Indian Ocean tsunami rose to 230,000. A study showed that 310,000 Europeans die from air pollution each year, and the U.N. predicted that 90 million Africans will have HIV by 2025.

Harper's Year end Review

posted by Gio at 12:17 PM

Friday, December 30, 2005

DoCopenhagen has listed the Top 50 Music Videos Of 2005

posted by Gio at 2:13 AM

Sunday, December 25, 2005

A little bit of SOCOM 3 Need for Speed video.

posted by Gio at 9:24 PM

Tuesday, December 20, 2005

Captain Planet!

posted by Gio at 9:46 PM

Friday, December 16, 2005

So you think you can mix drinks now do you?

posted by Gio at 6:00 PM

Monday, December 12, 2005

Friendship among Women
**********************
A woman doesn't come home one night. The next day she tells her husband she slept over at a friend痴 house.

The man calls his wife's 10 best friends.

None of them know about it.
Friendship among Men
********************
A man doesn't come home one night. The next day he tells his wife he slept over at a friend痴 house. The woman calls her husband's 10 best friends.

8 of them say he did sleep over and 2 claim he's still there.

posted by Gio at 7:16 PM

Saturday, December 10, 2005

Playboy. In Braille. Reading it just for the articles I presume.

posted by Gio at 11:43 AM

Tuesday, December 06, 2005

mr doghorse isn't what you'd call a massive fan of james blunt, and he celebrated his opinion of him in this fine adaption of one of his hits... i decided to make a pastiche of the video to accompany it but on realising that it was really quite a dull video (even with the addition of a penguin) we spiced it up with some interactive tomato splattering action. it's simple but really rather therapeutic.

posted by Gio at 10:13 PM

Sunday, December 04, 2005

Hey, maybe censorship can be fun

posted by Gio at 2:31 PM

Saturday, December 03, 2005

Finger Frenzy. Check out the high score vids

posted by Gio at 1:46 PM

Sunday, November 20, 2005

Training for adulthood. What the Fuck?

posted by Gio at 5:39 PM

Friday, November 18, 2005

buttsekz

posted by Gio at 10:20 PM

Tuesday, November 08, 2005

100 Greatest Internet Moments

posted by Gio at 8:18 PM

Saturday, November 05, 2005

"Name the elements, Billy," instructed the teacher.

"There's earth and there's air," began the boy, "and then fire and... er ...water ...and...oh, yes - fucking."

The teacher gasped, then recovered herself.

"That filthy thing you named, what ever made you include it?"

"I overheard my mom telling one of her friends," answered Billy, "that when my dad gets to fucking, he's in his element."

posted by Gio at 9:58 PM

Sunday, October 30, 2005

Wok the Fuck! No, No Phuc Dat Bich!

posted by Gio at 10:12 PM