DartNews

"News - Rumours - Tidbits" is a page that serves as a message board for the dart gang. You are encouraged to submit your comments/commentaries/insults/digs and maybe even some serious stuff, if you absolutely feel the need to!!! We'd love to hear what you have to say, so please send in your comments!!!
(Keep in mind that I will name you as the source and that I may need to edit your e-mail slightly to maintain the "G" Rating this webpage strives to keep.)

Jokes are welcomed, provided the content is suitable for this page, but large pictures are discouraged because of space considerations on this FREE Website that I use.

To Send Me Your Input, Please Address Your E-Mail To
cmates@videotron.ca
or click on my e-mail address above to send me mail...

Well, Folks, it's almost that time again... The 2005/2006 Duffer's Dart Season is approaching quickly!! I have some GOOD News and I have some BAD News, depending how you feel about my news.

My schedule is about to change, starting mid-September. I managed to get a day shift at my silly job, and now instead of 17:30 - 01:30 that I am working now, I will soon be working 11:00 - 19:00. This will now allow me to return to Darts for the next 4 months. I can't commit to anything after that, but who knows where I will be working by that time. It's time for a change, for me to get a REAL job like NORMAL people.

I'm also assuming that we will be losing one of our favorite members from last year. Rosi is expecting her 2nd child, and though I don't know her Due Date, I know that she must be due some time this fall or early winter. She sent me this picture of her for me to post on the site to let you all know her news.

To the organizers/committee members of this wonder league, just let me know if you guys need any help or want me to sit in on any meetings. I'll be available.

Dear Cliff, let everyone know that we will be starting darts on Oct-11-2005.

Well, I had the honor and pleasure of sitting in on the first meeting of the 2005/2006 Duffers' Dart League Season with your highly esteemed executive members (Réal Arsenault and Gord Corcoran) and the extremely respected Grand Poubah (Gary Warnock). Tonight the teams were picked and I have the honor of announcing them to you, herewith:

TEAM #1	TEAM #2	TEAM #3	TEAM #4
Gary Warnock	Réal Arsenault	Cliff Mates	Laurier Godin
Jeff Brown	Terry Coles	Dave Gillett	Pete McCabe
Gary McCall	Larry Brazier	Ron Gregory	Steve Mates

TEAM #5	TEAM #6	TEAM #7	TEAM #8
Mickey Hock	Kevin Simms	Wayne Grosse	Jason Donahue
Dan Vernier	Andrea "Dart Bitch" Krahule	Ray Black	Sean Boyer
Len Savoie	Jim Petelle	Darren Jacobs	Gord Corcoran

So, everybody please show up on Oct. 11th for the first night of the season!!! We hope to see you there!!!

The 2005/2006 season has begun. With a few players missing the first night, it was certainly an inauspicious start to the season. There were several teams missing players, including Gord Corcoran's team that started off with only himself representing his team until Sean Boyer leisurely coasted in, with Andrea "Dart Bitch" Krahule tagging along with him. Both of them were unapologetic about their tardiness. Andrea and Gord's coach, Jason Donahue, was missing in action. Rumours are that his best dress was still at the cleaners, so he had nothing to wear.....

Laurier Godin was also absent for some unknown reason. The other members of their team, Pete McCabe and Steve Mates had the misfortune of meeting my wonderful team, and fell victim to our less than mediocre performance, losing 4 games to their 1. Consensus is that even if Laurier was there, the outcome would have been the same.

In the Second Round, our team met Gary "Grand Poubah" Warnock's team, who was missing Gary McCall. This proved to be somewhat closer, as we only kicked their butt 3 - 2. Gary was pretty quiet, considering it was a dart night, and he was in a bar..... Like I said in the beginning, the night was sorta quiet, and he followed suit, with only the occasional outburst of song, verse or belching.

My wonderful brother returned to the league after a one year absense, and it's not much of a surprise, he still has plenty of gas, farting as though he had never left!

Not much to say about Andrea this week. She was quiet, and gave me nothing to write about, other than the fact she was 20 minutes late.

Some of you may have noticed that my old favorite target on this site, Linda Sumner, is working in the kitchen at the Alibi. She didn't say anything this week to contribute, but you'll be interested to know that despite being tight-lipped on Tuesday, she was still able to get some mention on this page. I just happened to catch Linda and Dave Gillett coming out of the Men's Washroom together, both laughing.... and Linda apparently needed a mop. It must have been messy!

Erin was our waitress this week, and she did a wonderful job. She told me that all the waitresses fight over who gets to work on Tuesday nights.

Pete McCabe shot for the BONUS BEER ROUND. He threw a 13, a 1, then a 12, for a grand total of 26. Not a great start to the season, but heck, it was 3 times Pete's average, so it proves he was trying hard.

My buddy Darren Jacobs joined the league this year, and it was quite amusing to see him standing beside Gord Corcoran. Darren is 6' 6", making him exactly 3 feet taller than Gord. It was quite funny to see the two extremes.

Hello everyone, it took me the entire week to write and say that I had a good time back at darts again. Our team did fairly well and I can tell it'll be a good year. I was fashionably late and since that's the only thing that Cliff tried to make fun of me for, then I must say it was a quite, relaxed night. Unfortunately, I will not be there tomorrow night. Have a good night everyone and I'll see you all next week.

Andrea

Week 2 was much better than Week 1. We had a full house, only two spares were needed, and the mood was much rowdier than the opening night. Laurier was a No-Show once again. If anyone knows where he is, let him know that Darts Night has started. Andrea was the other No-Show. You might not know this, but Andrea is in LOVE with the silly Boston Bruins, and she missed darts to be at the game to witness the HABS beat up her little loser team (4-3). When will she ever learn?

My team faired OK. We took 6 games. I closed 3 games again this week, and generally threw a lot better darts than my first week. After a poor first week for Dave Gillett in the closing department, he woke up and closed 2 games for us in the second half. Ron Gregory closed one, making an all-round team effort last night. However, even after threatening Ron with being benched, sent to the showers early, he still managed to throw 2 darts off the board one time. But, other than that, I am quite happy with my new team.

The first half found us meeting Kevin Simms' team. Since Andrea "I Love Losers" Krahule was missing, Kevin had a spare named Dave, who threw some good darts. Jim Petelle sauntered in quite late, but threw nice darts even without any warmup. We ended up only taking 2 games off these guys.

The second half we played against Mr. Happy and his team. Jason Donahue, Gord Corcoran and Sean Boyer did not fair too well this time, as we beat them 4-1. I was speaking to Sean, and I forget how it came up, but Gord's name came up. Sean joked around about Gord's lack of height, and said "I have stuffed animals bigger than Gord". I agree that there are certainly stuffed animals bigger than Gord, but worry about the fact that Sean still has stuffed animals. I wonder what he does with them? Wait, I don't want to know.

A couple events of note: my buddy Darren Jacobs, in just his second night in our league, closed a game with a 96. Way to go Darren! And Réal Arsenault shot two 180's, getting a free pitcher of beer, and putting one in the bank for next week. Not bad, Réal....way to go!

The BONUS BEER ROUND was very close this week. Gary McCall made the attempt. He started with a 20, then shot a double 20, and then with all of us holding our breath, he shot another 20 for a total of 80. A valiant effort by Gary!

Gary Warnock was into the Jamieson's last night, and was back to his old LOUD self. Welcome back Gary! I was talking to him, and noticed that he looked quite tired. I mentioned this to him and he told me that all this wet weather was reeking havoc with people's roofs. He said "Everyone's roof is leaking". This made us all laugh, because he forgot to mention that it wasn't roofs that he had worked on, but new people.

Finally, I went over to see Linda to see what she might have to contribute to the page this week. It took all of 15 seconds to get my quote. If you recall, last week I caught Linda and Dave Gillett coming out the Men's Bathroom, with Linda carrying a mop. Well, I looked into the kitchen and there was Linda with a broom. So, I said "Oh, a broom now......" Linda graciously said to me "You want this broom up your ass?" I declined..... Besides, we are the Duffers Dart League and not McGill Redmen, We don't have any hazing in our league. So, Thanks for the offer Linda and thanks for the contribution to this page.

October 25th, 2005
Submitted By The Only Regular Contributor To This Site, Cliff:

I admit that I am remiss in my duties by being this late in my weekly submission to this little dart page we have.... A few more contributions from you guys looking at this page (Is there really someone looking at this page?), would help, and make it more interesting, no? Anyways, I apologize for my tardiness, if any of you took notice.

So, my team sucked this week and only took 4 games. OK, Ron Gregory was missing and it was only Dave Gillett and I, and I sucked.... Dave did very well. He closed 3 out of the 4 games we managed to scrape up. Ron's dummy score kept us in the game quite often... Dave did actually throw two darts off the board one try, and this was in regular shooting, not trying for a close.... But he came back from his mistakes, and generally carried the team all night.

I did my annual thing and forgot my darts at the bar. I hope someone from the league found them. Either that or I hope Erin found them and put them behind the bar. I promised Erin a bad review on the website when she made me wait up to a whole 30 seconds before getting me a beer and giving me a wet piece of paper I asked for, but other than that, she was wonderful. And if she found my darts, she's my new best friend.

I wanted to mention that Larry Brazier has once again become an integral part of his team as he takes the new position of CLOSER on his team. Whooda Thunk It!!!

I forgot to mention a conversation that I had with Mickey Hock. You know how he always does that first warmup shot before he throws his darts? Well, I approached Mick and asked him is he really wished there were 4 darts instead of 3 so that he wouldn't have to throw that IMAGINARY DART!!...... I know, GROAN... bad joke.

Just like I said to Ron Gregory after a bad time at the board that Ron wasn't too proud of. I said "You know, Ron, if you can't laugh at yourself......let me do it for you!!"

Apparently, according to my notes I made on my paper once it dried out, our Grand Poubah, Gary Warnock got a 140 close. Will wonders ever cease? He must be practicing somewhere because his darts have been very good of late.

One of our newest members of the league, Dave Yeaman, shot for the BONUS BEER ROUND. His results were more than satisfactory, ending with an 85. It's the highest score so far. Eventually, we'll get a free beer, it's inevitable that it's going to happpen.

Speaking of Bonus Beer Round, I spoke to Glen Powers this week about the Bonus Beer Round, and am still on my crusade about EVERYONE getting a free pitcher of beer if someone shoots a 180 when they're up there. The fact that Wayne Grosse got it last year was a freak of nature, and the odds of it happening in OUR league made it tantamount to winning some sort of lottery. That will presumably never happen again in the future history of our league. But, there is the remote chance that it could happen again. So, I think there should be some agreement for the future, and I asked Glen about it. He had valid arguments, which I agreed with, because under the exact lettering of the said agreement, everyone gets a free beer "IF THE SCORE IS 100 OR ABOVE". My position is that it is a momentous, extremely rare event, and should be rewarded as such. Like getting a hole-in-one. He said he would speak to the other members of the management team and get back to me with an answer.

I happened to ask my brother, Steve Mates, if Cord Corcoran was on his team. My brother said NO, that his team had a height requirement.

I want to extend my thanks to the professional marker at my board last Tuesday. Man, I could get used to having someone mark the board each game!! I beg your pardon for not remembering her name, but she was there as the better half of Dave Yeaman. I'm sure that all those playing on the board she marked appreciated her contribution. I also hear that she will be bringing her own darts next week so we may have the pleasure of playing against/with her if we need her as a spare.

Gord Corcoran said that Darren Jacobs looks like a BIG woosie. He did go on, however, to clarify that he himself was a very LITTLE woosie. Following this statement, it is expected that Gord will be laid out at Wilson's Funeral Home, in a closed casket for obvious reasons, this coming Wednesday or Thursday, or whenever they locate his body. LOL!!!

I have nothing for the "What LINDA Said From The Kitchen" File this week. I had something about dinging her bell, but it sorta sucked. So, I have nothing interesting to speak of. Sorry. Maybe next week.

Anyways, I guess that since I didn't put in my submission until now, I must have typed a lot more than usual to make up for it. I hope you like....... Let me know, send a submission.

Cliff, I noticed that it took almost an entire week to post this weeks submission. I was going to write to complain but I didn't know how long it would take to put it up on this site. I didn't want to give you any extra things to do since you had already fallen behind in your weekly activities. Just kidding Cliff...just wanted to let you know that I do look forward to reading this page each week. The first year that I joined the league there were so many more people who joined in. Sure there was a few weeks that I battled it out with Steve Payne but it was all fun. Last year I think Gary was writing more, so was Real and I even remember Larry getting his daughter Jo Jo to write for him. Hopefully everyone will get in the mood to contribute and you'll feel it'll be worth writing each week ON TIME. See you guys on Tuesday!

I've been waiting all week to see what you would write so I could reply and for some strange reason I'm not mentioned. I could get used to that. Just remember to bring enough cash next Tuesday to clear your account.

November 1st, 2005
Submitted By Your Humble Darts Page Webmaster, Cliff:

I know, I know, I'm late again..... Here comes another one of my rantings... I hope you have some time to waste.

Another dart night over, and I'm glad it is. I played terribly tonight. My team won only 4 again tonight. I closed 2 games and Dave Gillett closed the other 2. Overall, I think we all threw pretty bad darts. Dave had a nice close, however. With 5 remaining, he shot a triple 1 and then the double 1. That's 5, the hard way.

We played Réal in the first half. He wasn't shooting as well as he normally does, relying on his teammates to close games and take us 3 - 2. Larry Brazier, Réal's star closer, threw some great darts tonight, although we felt that there was perhaps a well placed horse-shoe somewhere. After a huge score, Larry was seen to be celebrating in front of the dart board. All the jiggling forced Larry to re-adjust his track pants. We surmised that his DEPENDS must have become full of crap, just like Larry was all night.

I found out the name of the Pro Dart Board Scorer from last week. Her name is Karen. She played tonight, though I don't know for who, or how she did.

I heard that Andrea "Dart Bitch" Krahule had 3 closes tonight. Way to go!! By the way, you know how I told you that Andrea loves the Boston Bruins, right? Well, I happened to notice her flights tonight. They're Canadian Flags, which I found a bit hypocritical, but then I wondered if Andrea even knows where Boston is, and that it isn't in Canada....

Wayne Grosse shot for the Bonus Beer Round, and in complete opposite fashion to his score last year when he threw a 180, he let us down with a measly 36. I guess he can't be a hero all the time, right?

A note of interest.... Ray Black will be absent this coming Tuesday. It will be a momentous evening when Ray will turn 50 and will also be celebrating his 30th wedding anniversary. Pretty Cool, eh?

Lastly, I'd like to mention how nice the Alibi looks after the recent renovations, especially with the new hardwood floor. It looks great!! And speaking of the Alibi, their wonderful Client Interface Specialist and Beverage Dispensing Technician, Erin, did indeed find my darts and graciously returned them to me tonight. Erin is now my newest best friend. During one business transaction, I over-jealously dumped the small remainder of my beer into the new beer so I could return the empty glass to Erin. Well, there was more beer in my glass than I thought and I ended up overflowing my new glass all over the table. Although visibly upset at this unexpected beer calamity, Erin kept her composure and only mildly admonished me for making such a mess. My glass, filled to brim, now presented a new dilemma. How to drink it without spilling more beer, thus avoiding further upsetting Erin, and risking being publicly chastised again!! Anyways, I failed, Erin complained about the mess I was making, but I didn't mind her grumbling.....she's my new best friend.

November 11th, 2005
Submitted By Your Tardy Darts Page Webmaster, Cliff:

Late again, I know. And this submission is going to be a short one, too.... Sorry.

My team won 7 out of 10. I had the honour and the pleasure of having Karen Reddy spare on my team to replace the absent Ron Gregory. Not only is she a good chalker, she also kept my team in the game all night. She closed 3 of our games. She's wonderful. I'd replace Ron with her anytime!!! LOL!! I had 3 closes and Dave Gillett closed one.

Speaking of closes, my little buddy Darren Jacobs closed 4 games on Tuesday. Way to go Darren!!! Nice one.

Mickey Hock shot for the Bonus Beer Round and left us thirsty once again. He shot a 20, then a 5, and then another 20 for a grand total of 45. It was definitely not up to what we would expect from Mick. I'm starting to wonder if we will ever get a free beer this year.

Andrea "Dart Bitch" Krahule was complaining that she didn't like shooting darts when I was marking the board. To prove her point, following her comment, she hit me in the foot with a dart. She certainly is living up to her nickname!!

Gord Corcoran told me a funny story about Jeff Brown throwing his 3 darts on the board, but by the time he got up to the board to retrieve his darts, they all fell out of the board, scoring a ZERO. Considering the size of the LAWN DARTS that he throws, you'd think that he would need a crowbar to remove his darts from the board. Go figure.

Not much to report from Linda Sumner. She's being good and staying in the kitchen, where a good woman should be!!! LOL!! She is, however, looking for someone who has a Male Cockatiel to get together with her Lonely Female Cockatiel. I have one, but he's almost 21 years old, and too old to get it up anymore.... So, if there's anyone out there that has a young horny Cockatiel, Linda's pimping out her bird.

November 18th, 2005
Submitted By Your Tardy Darts Page Webmaster, Cliff:

Well, once again I'm late, but posting my comments on Fridays has become a habit.

My team did very well on Tuesday. We took 8 out of 10 games. I closed 3, Dave Gillett closed 2 and Ron Gregory, fearing being traded for a girl, closed 3 games, saving his spot on the team for another week. Overall, this was our best week, closes and average wise..... If we play like that for the rest of the season, then we'll certainly be in contention for top position in the league. But, it's more probable that last Tuesday was a fluke, and we'll soon return to shooting mediocre darts.

After reporting the phenomenon of all 3 darts of Jeff Brown falling out, well, it has struck again. This time, Len Savoie had all three darts fall out of the board before he could retrieve them. I'm wondering whether both these events happened on the same board? Does anyone know? Could it be a bad board or are the players of our league just getting weaker?

Larry Brazier shot for the Bonus Beer Round. He shot a 3, then a 7 and then a 16. Larry is better known for his miraculous closes than for his high scores, so there were very few disappointed in his attempt. I think most people were just disappointed when his name was called to shoot!!!

A notable event...... Gord Corcoran closed a 76 on Tuesday. Now most people would figure he shot a triple 20 then a double 8. Wrong... Gord shot the famous triple 18, double 11. Weird, but it worked.

Nothing new from Linda Sumner. Her bird is still a virgin. Unlike its owner....

I wanted you guys to be the first ones to hear the news. I will not be bartending the dart league anymore (I got a job offer downtown.) Not to worry, I am personally trying to find a new barmaid for you guys.

Well, it is with heavy heart that I write this week's submission. As you have all read in the submission prior to this one, we are losing Erin to a Big-City New-Fangled Fancy-Pants Bar downtown. I know that I probably speak for all of us when I say that we wish her well, and that we all know that she will certainly be a big hit at the new bar. We will miss her, for sure. She says that she is personally picking out her replacement for us, but can there ever be another one like Erin? I don't think so. I blame myself for bugging the heck out of her, forcing her to seek employment elsewhere, where no one will say "Fine, You? Good, Thanks, Nice Of You To Ask" all night to her. You can all blame me for her departure. Anyways, Erin, if you're reading this, thanks for being such a good bartender for our league. No, No, THANK YOU!!! Best of Luck..... Hogs and Kisses from me.

Ok, we must go on, regardless of the depressing news. So, my team, which, surprisingly, just happens to be #1 in the league, did well again this week. We took 7 out of 10 this week. That brings us to 22 out of 30 for the last 3 weeks, which probably surprises most of you, including myself!!! I played good, then bad, but mostly bad. However, I did close a 72 for my only close on Tuesday. Both Ron Gregory and Dave Gillett kept our team in the WIN column with 3 closes each. But, as Ron says, it's a team effort, and I guess he's right. Unfortunately, they want to kick me off the team!!!

The first half found us matched against Mick's team. They proved to be some of the longest games in history. Mick was hot, sometimes..... He started off shooting 2 TONS in the first game. Fortunately for our team, he returned to normal and started shooting some crappy darts here and there. The problem with both our teams was that we couldn't close our games until each of had thrown 30 darts at the close. The 1 close that they did get was by Len Savoie. Apparently, Len closed 4 games on Tuesday night!! Way to go, Len!!!

The second half had us playing against Terry Coles' team, including Réal Arsenault and Mr. Grumpy, Larry Brazier. I'm sure that Terry has not only been practicing at home, but perhaps has even taken lessons from a Pro. He was shooting some great darts. Luckily, Réal wasn't throwing up to his regular average, I figure, and we managed to take 3 out of 5 games from him. And Larry just plains hates Dave and I. But, it is SO MUCH FUN bugging him!!!

In the second half, the Grand Poubah made an executive decision and in a fit of interior decorating rage, removed the carpet from in front of the boards, since it was, indeed, an accident waiting to happen. That's why he's the boss and we're just bottom-feeders. He makes the big decisions and makes it happen!! LOL!!

Speaking of decisions, the date for the XMAS Party was announced on Tuesday. It will be December 20th, 2005. There will be no darts on December 27th, 2005. We will return to darts on January 3rd, 2006.

Mysteriously, our new spares, Karen Reddy, Tom Myatt and Dave Yeaman, were absent on Tuesday. It had snowed on that day, and I guess they figured that with that 1 cm of snow that darts would be cancelled.

Dave Gillett shot for the Bonus Beer Round on Tuesday. His darts looked much better than they scored. He was all around the triple 20. Unfortunately, they were just around the triple 20, and not IN the triple 20. He shot a 1, then a Triple 1, and finished with a 20. Only a few weeks left until Xmas and I'm starting to doubt that we will get a free beer.

I didn't see Linda on Tuesday. I guess she was out on a double date with her bird?

You’ve got it all wrong Cliff, I would never be able to leave you guys for another bar, I’m going downtown to work in an office. You guys are priceless, I couldn’t find that anywhere else.

Erin.

I stand corrected.... But bottom line, you're still leaving us!!! Best of luck in your new job!!

Hello Clifford, looking forward to Darts tomorrow. I'm just sitting here
with Rosi and we were looking at the website. She wanted to send a pic of
her and the baby for all her missed dart friends to see! She hopes that she
can visit soon!

Andrea"I love losers" Krahule..LOL

A Note From Webmaster Cliff: Andrea neglected to inform us of Rosi's baby's gender, name etc, so I followed up with an e-mail reply and Andrea reports that Rosi's new little Girl is named Hailey. Sorry to the guys that there are no breast-feeding shots!!! To Rosi, I'm very happy for you and your little girl is a cutie!!! I know you wanted a girl, so you must be very happy.

November 29th, 2005
Submitted By Dave Gillett:

Hey Gord the stats are a "LITTLE" late. I guess they'll be out "SHORTLY"

Erin, All the Best in your new Endeavors

(For some guys in the League, that means:) To attempt (fulfillment of a responsibility or an obligation, for example) by employment or expenditure of effort: endeavored to improve the quality of life in the inner city. To work with a set or specified goal or purpose.

Cliff, See YA !

A Note From Cliff: Davey, I actually received the stats from last week late Monday night and they have been posted on the site, and it is myself to blame for the absence of the stats last week. A thousand pardons to you and all those people who come here to see the stats.

Hi Folks.... Me again. Another week of darts over with, and another submission from me.

Much to my surprise, and through very little contribution from myself to the team, we won 9 out of 10 games on Tuesday night. This keeps my team in first place for 3 weeks in a row, I believe. I know that somehow we will soon fall from the top of the pedestal, and find our rightful place somewhere near the bottom of the list. My *star closer*, Ron Gregory, closed 5 games!!! I guess threatening to trade him for a woman really made him pull his socks up and shoot like he is expected to! Dave Gillett also contributed greatly to our success with 3 closes. I had one lousy close. Ron had a nice close of 76 on Tuesday night. Oddly enough, he shot this by hitting a Double 20 and Double 18. Not the conventional way to get it, but it sure works!

In the first half, we played Karen Reddy's team which includes Pete McCabe and my brother Stephen Mates. Karen must have found the responsibility of being thrust into the position of captain all too overwhelming. We swept their team with 5 games.

The second half matched us up against Gary Warnock's Team. We took 4 out of 5 games against them. Our night was very satisfying!!

A notable shot of the evening, I saw that Wayne Grosse shot a 171. Three Triple 19's. Nice Stuff, Wayne!!!

A Note To Erin (if you're still coming here to read this): So you promised to hand pick a new barmaid for us. Well, she is a HE. Is he the cutest BARMAID you could find for us? LOL!!! Not that I dislike Ryan at all, he's a wonderful guy, but I expected the new BARMAID to be a girl, no? Does he know that you think that he is a girl?

Karen Reddy was picked for the Bonus Beer Round last Tuesday. I guess the pressure of becoming a Captain, and then having to shoot for the Bonus Beer, really got to her. Her first dart missed the board. Her second dart hit the 3, and her last despair dart hit another 3 for a grand total of 6. This narrowly misses our All-Time low shot of 5 by Peter Bouchard. And he was an Ex-Pro Dart Player, so this is actually an accomplishment!

And Finally, I happened to catch Linda Sumner grabbing my brother's butt. It wasn't a pinch, not a tweak, not a poke, but a full-fledged full handful of grabbing. Peter McCabe instantly labeled Linda as "Ass Grabber". I could sense that he was extremely jealous of the action that my brother was getting!!

OK, I'm REALLY late this week. I've got my reasons.....but I apologize nonetheless.

Not much to report this time anyway. At least, I can't remember that long ago, so maybe I'm going to miss some things.

Last week, our Grand Poubah, Gary Warnock, announced that starting this week, darts would start at precisely 8:00, sharp. Well, he walked in at 8:10 on the first night that we were supposed to be punctual. There were quite a few people missing.

My team continued on with its winning streak. We took 7 out of 10. We're doing awesome.

My brother, Steve Mates, shot for the Bonus Beer Round. He shot a 50, which is exactly half way to a free beer, but still put NOTHING in out glasses.

I'm starting to worry about Jim Petelle. He was heard to compliment Ron Gregory by telling him that he "likes the wiggle in his dart". Later on in the evening, he told me that I had a "nice ass". (It's not the first time a dart player's told me that, by the way!) It's just scary because Jim is a Big Boy, and if he decides to act on his feelings, neither Ron or I could actually fight him off and we'd be his bitch!!!

But Jim did finish a game on a 2 dart finish, closing 81!! It was very nice. I coached him how to do it, so I get part of the credit!

Linda was absent. No clue where she was. No news on whether her bird is still a virgin.

it is 7-30 on a Saturday evening and no stats or report from last week. {your late again} there must be a good reason. your out still looking for a replacement for Erin ?? good luck.!!! or you are lost again in the Chateauguay shopping mall?? perhaps we should put your mug-shot on the milk cartons asking {have you seen the clown.} lol

A note from Cliff to Dave: Sorry for the delay. I just got the stats tonight (Monday) They are now posted. Thanks for submitting a note to let me know that you are looking at the page.

Notable scores from last Tuesday; Réal Arsenault shot a 180. I hear that Gord Corcoran shot one while practicing, but that doesn't count. It was worth noting on this page though. My wonderful brother, Steve Mates, closed a 120, putting him in the top place for high close so far this year.

Terry Coles shot for the Bonus Beer Round last week. It was a good effort; 59. Nice Try, Terry!

I caught Linda Sumner coming out of the guy's bathroom again..... She seems to spend a lot of time in there.

Karen Reddy seems to have taken over the spot for speaker of Crude comments in our league. Karen was heard saying to Pete McCabe that "you're too soft. I'll make you hard". So, Pete saved a viagra that night!!! After winning a game, she was also heard saying to Gord Corcoran "Kiss My Hooters". Gord surely would have taken advantage of her generous offer if he could only reach that high. For now, all he got was belly-button lint!!!

Karen is voting to keep our Barmaid, Ryan. She thinks he is eye candy. Unfortunately, she is far out-numbered by the men in the league, who prefer to keep our barmaids FEMALE. Once again, Ryan's a great guy, but if he had a set of boobs, he'd get better tips!!!

Well, the Xmas party tomorrow..... Open bar. And lucky me, I have Wednesday off!!!

XMAS PARTY	Food	$200.00
	Bar	$460.00
	Total		$660.00

JACKETS	Total		$798.00

BANQUET	Trophies - Repairs and Engraving	$60
	Cash Prizes	$320.00
	Door Prizes	$724.71
	Meals (less $75.00 contributed by the Alibi for the jackets)	$420.00
	Bar	$1335.00
	Tips	$180.29
	Total		$2960.00

TOTAL EXPENSES				$4518.00

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