The Minetown Watch have had their hands full through the last hundredturn.
A string of false alarms, minor complaints and bloody cleanup jobs have
been keeping them away from Homer "Hole-in-the-do'h" Hyantafas' 
delicatessen. Mr. Hyantafas was heard to comment "I lose a couple of sales
w-w-w-when monsters are frightened by that i-incredible presence. But in the
end, if there's less s-spam cooking, th-there's more appetite for my
Touring the main square, I saw a man today, unable to enter the Albert Hall
because of the crowd. "I don't mind the magic missiles," he says, "but now
that we've counted them, who will fill the holes?"
I stopped at a local establishment for an in depth interview with
the owner of the, uh, refreshment place. Mr. Rick, The Gimp has perhaps
more knowledge than even the captain of The Watch. Actually, Rick knows
everything the Captain knows, being a mind flayer and knowing the Captain
well enough. Most of the sightings
of this odd creature have begun within Mr. Rick's establishment.
Rick: "It was Sam that noticed him..."
"Excuse me! Please, you have to wait for me to ask the question."
Rick: "Sorry, bad habit."
RR: "Just imagine that you're talking to Tim. I notice you always
verbalize in the right order then!"
Rick: "Tim is one thing, him being a demigod,  I see only the
thoughts he wants me to see. But you, your thoughts are open as wide as the
arms of a nymph when she catches your eye across a non crowded room."
RR: "Yes, well, on to business. Mr. Rick, can you tell us about the
creature that has been
causing all the commotion? How did you first come to notice it?"
Rick: "It was Sam that first picked him out of the crowd. Sam
stopped playing for a moment and said 'Hey
Bo-oss? That wolf at the bar? You sure he's a regular werewolf?' I reassured
Sam and told him not to play The Song. Let me get you one on the house.
You drink ry.."
RR: "No! I can't while I'm..."
Rick: "Yes of course. I see that your throat is dry, I'll just get
you a glass of water. On the house, Mr. Rosenezmistelk. You know,
I've never known a quadruped who liked the water here so much, and
got so much of it for free."
RR: "Oh, yes, thank you. And, uhm, w-when did you notice that
this was a different sort from your usual customer?"
Rick: "It was when the evil one entered. All the other drun... er,
drew back, trying to keep distance between themselves and the thoughts of
the interloper. Even the @venturers tried to move to tables farther from the
But not this one. Not the WWW... whatever it is. He turned on his
stool and looked the unspeakable horror straight in the eye. And then! And
then! Well, it was a site to make this old flayer's heart leap!"
RR: "What did the doodkind want here? I didn't think they ate or
drank as normal monsters do. Why was it here?"
Rick: "I don't know. My perceptive ability is only useful with
animate creatures that have minds. I don't know what this thing was. It was
not a creature of The Dungeons nor an honest malevolence from Gehenomm.
It seemed most like the creature from the net that infected Octal and
almost wiped out Minetown."
RR: "So the two of them fought right there in your ba... uhm,
Rick: "No, no. They exchanged a few pleasantries, then the W-w-w...
weird one invited the one reminiscent of the droppings of a sick rothe to step
out into the square 'for a fresh breath of air,' he said. I gave thanks!
As long as that thing shadowed my door, there would be no new traffic into
the, uhm, place. Oh yes, this W-W-Wolfish creature is always welcome here!"
RR: "And then they fought?"
"Well, I don't know about that. I had a barfu... ehm, a roomful of
nervous customers and was busy handing out free dri.. uh, refreshments, look
are you sure we can't mention what I do here? It'd be great to get a free
plug, you know."
RR: "No, my editor won't let me. One more free plug for you and I'm
out of a job. So they left and that's it?"
Rick: "There was a cleanup detail in here a few turns later. They
were pretty spooked. Kept going on about forbidden weapons. One of them
dropped a hint about smelling sulfur around the scene."
RR: "Sulfur! Surely no one would bring those kind of weapons in here?
What an evil creature this war3zd00d is!"
"No, it wasn't that weasel.. The w-w-w-wellfavored one brought a thing like
a /WoMM, but mechanical in nature."
"What could this W... W... w... wanderer have been thinking? We frown on
w-weapons like that."
"No, frowning rules are broken with impunity. Those weapons are
"Then surely that's why The Guards were here on clean-up detail. To
save Minetown from this W-w-wr-wrecker of rules!"
"No, they saw the thing he used the weapon on. They said that the ending of
that thing justified the machine. The cleanup crew had to wipe up the
slime-trail of rabid rat drool that was all that was left of the virulent
thing. I saw their minds. They had nothing but gratitude for the one that