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SoftBodies Videos

Subject: Video series review: SoftBodies
From: J Greely <jgreely@corp.webtv.net>
Digest: volume98/324
Date: Sun, 21 Jun 1998 04:40:57 -0700 (PDT)

Quite some time ago, after expressing my disgust at the really lame "Girls of South Beach" video that Playboy put out, I decided to check out the competition (of which, coincidentally, the best is produced by a member of this list, Becky LeBeau). So, I broke down and bought a big batch of SoftBodies videos. I figured that in the worst case, I'd still end up with half an hour of naked Julia Hayes scenes, so it was money well spent. I deliberately picked both old and (at the time) new videos, to see how the line has evolved. Apart from improved production values, a wider variety of models, and full nudity, the series turns out to be pretty consistent.

The basic format is three several-minute "posing sessions" of each model, run in sequence. The majority of them are simulations of a nude glamour model shoot, with this theme driven home by having the first segment for each model feature occasional shutter clicks and flash pops. Soundbites from the models are dropped in pretty much at random during the segments. Occasionally the soundbites reinforce the basic "natural figures" pitch of the SoftBodies line.

Strengths:

• pretty models with nice figures. This might seem odd to have to mention, but if you'd seen some of the nude videos available in the stores, particularly those aimed at big-bust fans, you'd understand. For many of the video producers, the only requirements for their models are: "will she get naked?", and/or "are her breasts bigger than grapefruit?". Fortunately, Becky doesn't fall into this trap, and her worst models would be the cream of the crop in most other videos. I'd rank most Playmates a bit higher, but that still leaves a lot of room before you even begin to approach "plain".
• original music, rarely reused. Playboy uses the same lame knock-offs over and over in their videos, even long after the songs they're copying have fallen into blessed oblivion. I caught a few of Becky's own original tunes being used more than once, but not excessively.
• good sets and costuming. I've seen a few videos that were clearly shot in a cheap motel room, with bare walls and cruddy furniture. The SoftBodies crew generally finds nice upscale homes around Hollywood, and uses them well. Costumes are mostly lingerie that doesn't stay on for too long, but all of the outfits look attractive and appropriate for the model.
• excellent lighting and audio. The audio mixing is uniformly well-done, and the lighting is almost always soft and flattering to the subjects.
• simplicity. In many Playboy videos, the themes and framing devices get out of hand, leaving you wondering if you're looking at some film major's senior project. Becky & company stick to the basics, but do a great job with it.
• excellent facial makeup.
• complete lack of "titty action". The ultimate cliche of the big-bust video is "making them bounce". In many cases, the model will just be standing there topless, possibly for several minutes, trying to get her breasts to really move as the camera zooms around. I don't get it, and in the case of women with obvious implants, it seems like wasted effort, since they're not really going to move much anyway.
• no "Bad Playmate Dancing". In most Playboy videos, I cringe whenever I see the models start to dance, because they almost always end up looking clumsy and off-balance, and even that requires lots of fast MTV-style edits. The canonical example that comes to mind is from India Allen's PMOY video, in which my friends and I became convinced that Playboy had kidnapped a 12-year-old girl scout and transplanted her brain into the body of a voluptuous sex kitten. It seemed the simplest explanation for her apparent confusion in the areas of harmonic motion and center of gravity.
• you know what you're getting. The models on the box are the models in the video. You can also get a good look at them on the SoftBodies web site, and even get brief online previews if you have decent bandwidth.

Weaknesses:

• camera control. The thing I'd most like to see changed in future releases is the constant use of slow pans up the body, stopping when the breasts are centered on the screen. Not that I have anything against breasts, even though I'm not much of a "big-bust" fan, but what annoys me about this is that the model's head is usually clipped at the chin or nose, and if you do get to see her entire head, the attractive facial expression she had at the beginning of the pan has faded. Moving the camera *down* the body occasionally would solve this problem.
• the silly flash effect in the first segment for each model. I find it distracting, and most people watching probably wouldn't notice if it disappeared. The shutter click is enough of a cue to set the scene.
• limited range of poses. Becky has commented that her videos are popular among people interested in learning glamour photography, on both sides of the lens. Unfortunately, a lot of the girls look like the students rather than the teachers, busily doing their homework for Pouty Stripping 101 or Lap Dancing 210. The best moments are when they're not concentrating on "posing", and you get some relaxed, natural moments (such as the bubble bath in Bathing Beauties, or Sofia's delightful blink-and-you'll-miss-it bit of teasing in Foreign Affairs).
• twelve to fifteen minutes in a row of the same model. This is actually a strength when the girl on the screen is a particular favorite, but otherwise it can drag a bit. You've already seen her repertoire of moves once, and in most cases the subsequent segment is just more of the same. With Julia Hayes, I could watch her strip out of different outfits in exactly the same way for as long as she was willing to keep it up (and the editors of Club International must feel the same way, since that's what they had her doing every month for over two years), but with many of the others, I'd prefer to have them mixed up a bit more.
• awkwardly delivered soundbites. At random intervals, a brief audio clip from the model is dropped into the mix. While the words are often interesting, they usually sound like they're being read cold, with no real life to them. Worse, you don't get to see the model speaking, so you lose the chance to see her features arranged in something other than a pout or a smile.
• not much use of body makeup. In a few scenes, I've been distracted by large blemishes or harsh tan lines.
• occasional unflattering poses and camera angles. This is less of a problem in recent videos, but even in All American Girls I noticed a few times when either the model or the cameraman did something that left her looking less than her best. The most obvious instance is in Bathing Beauties, where I kept getting the urge to apologize to Sarah-Jane Hamilton for having seen her looking so chunky.
• models tend to move in slow motion. Playboy is actually worse at this. Their videos are often more entertaining on fast-forward, because you can see the women move. The SoftBodies girls are paced a little better, but, in part due to the "video posing session" theme, there's still not a lot of action. A few of the framing scenes feature some relaxed, fun interaction between models, batting around a beach ball or playfully pulling off each other's bikinis. I'd be happy to see more of this. Maybe a nice pillow fight.

There are a lot of really bad nude videos on the market, most of which were, until recently, easier to find in video stores. I still haven't seen as many SoftBodies videos on the shelves as, say, Naked Nurses or Nudie Cuties (volume one: really awful, volume two: generally awful, salvaged by a few minutes with Noel, who is pretty enough to be forgiven for both her implants and her attempts to get them to bounce). My only real regret is that Becky's focus on naturally buxom models means there's no one producing quality videos exclusively filled with equally-natural beauties whose breasts fall into the B/C-cup range.

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