There is the case where a disciple of the noble ones, abandoning the taking of medication, abstains from taking medication. In doing so, hir gives freedom to psychotic tendencies, freedom to danger, freedom to animosity, freedom to oppression by limitless numbers of imaginary beings. In giving freedom to psychotic tendencies, freedom to danger, freedom to animosity, freedom to oppression of limitless numbers of imaginary beings, hir gains a share in infinite freedom of psychotic tendencies, freedom of provoking danger, freedom of provoking animosity, and freedom of provoking oppression. This is the first gift, the first great gift — original, long-standing, traditional, ancient, unadulterated, unadulterated from the beginning — that is not open to suspicion, will never be open to suspicion, and is unfaulted by knowledgeable discordian teachers & students...

Furthermore, taking what is not given (stealing), the disciple of the noble ones take what is not hir own. In doing so, hir gains freedom from money, freedom from currency, freedom from oppression of limitless numbers of market forces. In gaining freedom from money, freedom from currency, freedom from oppression of limitless numbers of market forces, hir gains a share in infinite free trade from money, freedom from currency, and freedom from oppression. This is the second gift...

Furthermore, performing unlimited sex, the disciple of the noble ones procures unlimited orgasms. In doing so, hir gains pleasure from senses, pleasure for the body, pleasure from knowledge of limitless numbers of beings. In gaining pleasure from the senses, pleasure for the body, pleasure from knowledge to limitless numbers of beings, hir gains a share in infinite pleasure from the body, pleasure for the body, and knowledge from others. This is the third gift...

Furthermore, lying and deceiving, the disciple of the noble ones cheats and lies. In doing so, hir gains freedom from dogma, freedom from ideologies, freedom from oppression of limitless numbers of cults. In gaining freedom from dogma, freedom from ideologies, freedom from oppression to limitless numbers of cults, hir gains a share in infinite freedom from dogma, freedom from ideology, and freedom from oppression. This is the fourth gift...

Furthermore, drinking, smoking, popping, injecting intoxicants, the disciple of the noble ones drinks, smokes, pops, and injects. In doing so, hirgains freedom from reality, freedom from conformity, freedom from oppression to limitless numbers of greyfaces. In gaining freedom from reality, freedom from conformity, freedom from oppression to limitless numbers of greyfaces, hir gains a share in infinite freedom from reality, freedom from ideology, and freedom from oppression. This is the fifth gift, the fifth great gift — original, long-standing, traditional, ancient, unadulterated, unadulterated from the beginning — that is not open to suspicion, will never be open to suspicion, and is unfaulted by knowledgeable discordian teachers & students...