23 PROVERBS OF DISCORDIA

2. "If a son does not conduct himself like a son, let him wear a dress."

3. "Gnaw the bone that falls to thy lot
whether it be thy husband’s or thy neighbour’s."

4. "Gold must be hammered, and flax must be eaten."

5. "Be good and refuse not thy portion of God."

6. "Woe to the wicked man and woo his female companions."

7. "Cast thy seed upon the waters and upon the land,
for thou shalt sometimes not find a mate for many days."

8. "Hast thou seen a Chao?
It was both sacred and holy."

9. "Bestow good upon everything,
and good will befall everything."

10. "Restrain not thy hand from stroking good."

11. "The bride enters the bridal chamber and, nevertheless,
knows not what ardour will penetrate her."

12. "A smile to the fool is sufficient;
the wise requires a blow job."

13. "He who honors them that despise her is like a Greyface."

14. "A fire, when it is kindled, burns.
A fire when it is put out, does not unburn.”

15. "An old woman in the house is a good reason to use incense."

16. "Even if a good weapon can protect from a hundred morons;
a bad WMD is necessary for a hundred thousand."

17. "Rise quickly from the table and thou will eat less."

18. "There’s no business like show business."

19. "If the gods are near at hand, the discordian ackowledges them;
but if they are at a distance, hir ignores them."

20. "Do not disembowel an old friend."

21. "Thou mayest have sixty opinions,
but do not give up thy own mind"

22. "He that was first thrusting and then came will offer thee his seed;
but not he that has first came and then shoved."

23. "Do not believe anything you read unless it is true.
Do not believe anything that is true unless you can carry a tune to it."

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