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Collected by
Episkopos RALPH RADIX FENDERSON McKENZIE ETAL, KFFC,
Polysexcretariate to The House of the Rising Hodge For the Bureaucrcacy
(THRHFB)
obtained through pineo-appendix neurodiscordant quantum pathways transcommunication
from Eris Kallisti Discordia
2 Yet, Jonas knew how to please women. So, he learned how to swim, doggy style.
3
Jonas had a private pool which he had installed in the belly of his pet
whale called Bambi.
4
Jonas had been swimming inside Bambi when midnight dawned on the Continent
of Atlantis. Upon resurfacing, Jonas was startled to find that the continent
had vanished from the surface of the waters. All Atlanteans had drowned.
George W. Bush had been elected to the presidency of a country in the continent
of the Americas. Twice! Jonas uttered in a strong Atlantean accent :
Poee, thoust takenth a dip and geheth wet furst nur ein sekundth and the oh-holth vorlth gehest zu den dogts! 15 To this day, Jonas remains last sole survivor of Atlantis and is keeping healthy with a steady diet of kipper and caffeine-free Dr Pepper. He has been known to hang around hotdog stands and diners and is sometimes heard chanting the Freaking and or and/or Fucking and or and/or Freaking Fucking incantations, forward and or and/or backward, or to shout words of wisdom such as, «I am a superior being what am I doing in this hole?», or such as «Such as, such as, such as, such as, such as.»
7 If the faith of Atlantis is any worry to you, and if upon a gracious or discordant day ye shall come across a man, beggar, homeless, aqualung, or other, who looks like he might have taken a dip in a whale while all his peoples were being drowned, please be kind to him. Buy him a hotdog, a kipper, some crab juice, a caffeine-free Dr Pepper 2 or give him some loose change. In doing so, you may be instrumental in keeping the sun shining upon the day of Atlantis.
8 You will only meet him upon a sunny day and, should it be dark or overcast, it will always get sunny upon meeting him. Always.
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1 (go back) Even for an Atlantean Jonas was considered as having a mostly gibberish accent.
2 (go back) Make sure it is caffeine-free. He is quite sensitve to caffeine and he will chant the Freaking and or and/or Fucking and or and/or Freaking Fucking incantations, forward and or and/or backward, like you did not think it possible if he has any caffeine!
Save Atlantis!
Grow a Beard Today!
- Old ancient Goth God saying
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Hail Eris! All Hail Discordia!